Tennis should have no crowd noise rules at the US Open

In an old Fantasy Football column by Matthew Berry, he introduced me to the comedian Leroy Seabrooks, who Berry remembers telling jokes at a Syracuse event. Some of them would fall flat, to which he would follow up with “that one was for Leroy” and get a face-saving chuckle.

That little story stuck with me all these years, because occasionally, you have to write a column that nobody asked for with a take that nobody needs and that doesn’t really move any kind of needle. Because it’s for Leroy. Because, sometimes the takes that land aren’t the realist ones; they aren’t the purest expressions of my tennis-obsessed soul. We’re all professionals, and we have to act like professionals — I have an entire Google Drive folder titled “For Leroy” full of years of columns and essays I will never publish, because (probably) nobody cares. 

But sometimes, one of these breaks contain, and I’m bold enough to actually file it to an editor. This is one of those times; this is one of my most personal takes. If I’m not going to publish this take on the eve of the US Open amid an entire series of preview articles, I’ll never have a chance. So here goes: 

Tennis should have no crowd noise rules. 

I know, grab the pitchforks, call me ignorant, call me a lunatic who is disrespecting history and sportsmanship and the fundamental sound of escalating volume as a point gets more exciting. Call me a psycho for wanting to open the cellblock full of those who would scream “AHHHHHH” in the middle of a player’s serve; call me a traitor to the sport that raised me, having sat in Arthur Ashe Stadium since I was five years old. Call me whatever you want. Tennis should not have any crowd noise rules. 

This doesn’t mean there’s no crowd etiquette; quite the opposite. There is still no heckling of players — grounds for expulsion, of course — nor should there ever be insults hurled at anyone on the court from those in the lower bowl. But noise? Let there be noise. Let fans murmur and yell out and cheer in between points. Let a natural volume emanate from the stadium. Empower the US Open’s legendary crowd to choose their champion and make things harder for the opponent. Force players to play to the crowd — make home court an actual advantage. Down with these absurd pretentious barriers to fun. If someone want to scream “I love you Carlos!” in the middle of his serve toss, let them! 

Tennis is a sport with tremendous rhythm, much like baseball. There are discrete events; countable points, backhands, volleys and serves. Baseball’s rhythm is enhanced, not made worse, by the noise. No home pitcher would ever expect quiet during a critical payoff pitch — they would have everyone on their feet. The roar of the crowd before critical moments is part of the allure. I disagree that silence creates tension. Noise, drama, the presence of a crowd that won’t be taken out of the match. That is what I want.

I also want to remove the stupidest part of tennis, and arguably one of the stupidest things in any sport: the chair umpire telling the crowd to please, ladies and gentlemen, shut the hell up in… marginally kinder words. We have the classic “ladies and gentlemen, please,” which can then escalate to “the players are ready, thank you ladies and gentlemen,” and can be ratcheted up yet further to “please, ladies and gentlemen, do not call out in between points or during either player’s serve, thank you.” 

This is, bar none, my least favorite thing about tennis. The fact that the chair umpire — whose job is ostensibly to referee the match — spends the vast majority of their time reprimanding the crowd for… being a crowd drives me crazy. Just do your job and let us do ours. Release yourself from the pain that is trying to wrangle an audience of thousands. 

To the players: I understand this would be quite the shocking change, but I promise it would happen gradually. Crowd culture would police itself at first, even if long-term the lack of chair umpire admonishment empowers rowdier elements to show their true colors. But I ask also: haven’t you ever wanted a crowd that you had on your side to really be turned loose? Wouldn’t that have given you a huge advantage? Don’t you believe in your ability to win over the fans and get them on your team?

My final argument, and then this heavily For-Leroy take will end: this is a change built for TV. Players who are losing will get a boost from a crowd that wants more tennis. There will be fewer blowouts, more exciting, longer matches. It’s a huge boon to tennis’ corporate partners! Capitalism! Growth! Scalable short-and-long-term insights with powerful boosting preference-adjusted market features! 

There’s something for everyone. I legitimately think this would make tennis better, and even though this was all just for me, I hope you came away somewhat interested in what a liberated tennis public would sound like, one that longs for the day when we can all cheer for real.