Disney’s Star Wars Super Bowl should be between these teams

Super Bowl LXI marks the first time that the Disney family of networks will be broadcasting the big game, and that means endless opportunities for synergy and cross-promotional branding (get hyped). We’ve seen various experiments in alternate broadcasts over the years, notably with ManningCast for Monday Night Football, and Nickelodeon versions on Paramount+, but Disney is taking it a step further with the announcement that the Super Bowl itself will be broadcast with an alternate Star Wars stream.

I really don’t know how to feel about C3PO saying “I am ready for some football,” but it’s 2026 — and there are far greater existential threats than whether or not the Star Wars droids would have the awareness of the NFL on Tatooine.

It appears that Disney will be using the same player tracking technology we’ve seen on the Nickelodeon broadcasts, but with further technological advancements which will make it look less janky. The real issue now is to determine what the team makeup is going to be.

The most logical choice is to make the Super Bowl Rebels vs. Imperials, and this means we have to map out their rosters. For the sake of actually being able to watch a football game without being woefully confused, I’ve given each team generic offensive lines, which represent generic “protector” figures. Also, I didn’t want to have to dig so far into the character database that I was referencing some weirdo who only appeared in a book.

The Rebels definitely lack power up front on the defensive line, but I like their secondary much better.