Miami Marlins unveil what might be the best stadium food in history

Opening Day is almost upon us, and with that excitement for baseball comes anticipation of the wild food creations ballparks will dream up for the summer. We get a lot of press releases about new food, but at this point they don’t even register — someone is wrapping a hot dog in a waffle, there’s some new gut-splitting sundae, it’s all designed to walk the tightrope of gross carnival food to get headlines.

Once in a great while a team does something truly phenomenal, and we must applaud the Miami Marlins for the creation of the “Machete,” which is absolute concession stand perfection.

It’s big, it’s bombastic, it’s dumb — but in all the best ways. Nobody ever asked for or needs a two foot quesadilla, but damn if I don’t respect it. This is one of those items that’s not only ridiculous, but I am here for every single element of it. The tortilla looks artisanal, incredible, and if you can’t respect carne asada, then I can’t respect you. I also really like the added element of Oaxaca cheese in addition to the mozzarella — there will be ample cheese pull, and Oaxaca is a little more interesting texturally than just mozz.

This is a 10/10 ballpark item. No notes.