Donald Trump’s NFL kickoffs rant makes no sense whatsoever

As the NFL was settling the final teams to compete in the Super Bowl, President Donald Trump was having his “old man yells at clouds” moment over kickoffs.

It must be nice to have the energy to sink into thinking about kickoffs in professional football while *gestures everywhere* is going on. We’re here to offer a service, so let’s address some of the president’s statements.

1. “Like many other, I just turn my head” Nobody has ever looked away from the screen solely because of kickoffs. Do fans get up to get a drink or a snack during a kickoff, sure — but that was the case before the rule changes.
2. “Who has the right to make such a change?” The NFL, being a private company, has the right to make changes to its structure as it sees fit. In this case a majority of NFL team owners, led by suggestions from the competition committee, elected to change the kickoff in an effort to protect players and lessen the chances of traumatic brain injury.
3. “The original was Big Time, Strong, Glamorous, and Exciting” I’m not sure what “Big Time” means, but nobody has ever called a kickoff return “strong” or “glamorous.” Exciting? Sometimes, but the majority of kickoffs under the old rule just sailed into the end zone for a touchback. Truth be told, the kickoff return was one of the most boring parts of a football game.
4. “The ridiculous new Kickoff Rule takes away the prestige and power of the game” No it doesn’t.

Hope that cleared some things up for the president. Now he can invest more time in … literally anything on earth that doesn’t involve kickoff.