Take note Rory McIlroy, Alan Brazil’s Scottish Masters Champions Dinner is a thing of beauty

Smoked Salmon, white pudding and a tot of Drambuie – the offerings of a Masters Champions Dinner in an alternate universe.

Forget Rory McIlroy’s polished menu for a second and let us set the scene.

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Imagine a young Alan Brazil had not been gifted a football in his early Christmases, but rather, a golf club.

Suspend that imagination a touch further to think that instead of 13 caps for Scotland, Brazil had become one of the finest golfers in the world.

Keeping going and dream that his 1978 FA Cup winner’s medal was, in fact, a Masters trophy.

And now picture Brazil, adored in a Green Jacket, laying on a celebratory dinner for Tiger Woods, Jack Nicklaus and Rory McIlroy.

Still with us? 

Well, it’s now been revealed what those Masters legends would be chowing down on if Brazil had reached golfing immortality rather than being a football-turned-radio icon…

Ahead of McIlroy hosting the annual feast at Augusta tonight, Brazil has discussed how he’d craft his menu.

Like Sandy Lyle’s haggis-themed fare of 1988, Brazil simply had to look to the Highlands.

He said: “I would have to have something Scottish – some Loch Fyne Smoked Salmon, haggis at certain times of the year, Scottish prawns.”

Co-host Dean Saunders then asked if there would be ‘Irn Bru on the table?’ – Brazil immediately agreed, before adding that we are ‘forgetting the sweet’.

“For mains, I’m thinking right away a nice Scottish fillet, beautiful. A little bit of Drambuie to top it off,” he added.

“We’ll also have white pudding, black pudding, soda bread.”

So what of Saunders’ menu?

Ian Woosnam, the only Masters champion from Wales, hosted the 1992 dinner and served up traditional Welsh favourites like leek and potato soup and a leg of lamb.

Saunders also stuck to his Welsh roots but only after some gentle persuasion from Brazil.

The ex-Aston Villa striker began by saying he’d have ‘prawn cocktail and steak’ before Brazil interjected ‘a bit of imagination, please’.

Saunders’ reply? “It’s just like your last meal, isn’t it? The same thing. It’s like your last meal.

“But ok, we’ll have Welsh rarebit and a bit of Welsh lamb from the Salt Marshes. 

“I’ll do cockles and laverbread too.”

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So what of Rory McIlroy’s menu this evening?

Wagyu filet mignon, peach and ricotta flatbreads, and yellowfin tuna are on offer, with just a touch of his Irish heritage in the form of champ.

His mother’s specialty of medjool dates stuffed with goat cheese is a lovely touch but one menu item – the grilled elk sliders – raised eyebrows from Brazil and Saunders.

Saunders said: “This is a wind-up. Elk? Where’s he had elk? I just can’t imagine Rory McIlroy eating that kind of food.

“Elk? That’s a reindeer isn’t it? Bambi, you can’t eat Bambi, shocking.”

Shocking indeed and nearly as shocking as the lack of Irish stew, colcannon, boxty or even a spice bag on McIlroy’s menu.

But whatever the food, it’s sure to be a night to remember for the Masters legends inside the Augusta clubhouse.

And then, things will get serious with the 90th edition of The Masters getting underway this Thursdays as McIlroy defends his title.