How an Olympic icon became a South Park superhero and the ‘baddest’ man on ice

In the history of figure skating, few names carry the weight of Brian Boitano.

To a certain generation, he is the stoic technician who conquered the “Battle of the Brians” at the 1988 Calgary Olympics.

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To another, he is the caped, fire-breathing superhero from South Park who fights grizzly bears in the Alps.

Somewhere between the gold-medal podium and the absurdist lyrics of Trey Parker and Matt Stone lies the true story of a man who redefined his sport—and then let the world have a little fun with his name.

Before he was a pop-culture icon, Boitano was a pioneer of physics.

In an era where athleticism was beginning to outpace artistry, Boitano found a way to bridge the gap.

His 1988 Olympic performance remains one of the most technically perfect displays in the sport’s history.

Entering the Calgary Games, Boitano was locked in a bitter rivalry with Canada’s Brian Orser.

To beat Orser, Boitano knew he had to be perfect.

He famously became the first Olympic champion to land the full complement of all six types of triple jumps—the Axel, Lutz, Flip, Loop, Salchow, and Toe Loop—in a single program.

His signature move, the “Tano Triple” (a triple Lutz performed with one arm extended above his head), became a standard for difficulty that few dared to replicate.

When the scores came down, a razor-thin 5–4 split in his favor, Boitano didn’t just win gold; he cemented his place as the ultimate technician.

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His skates, adorned with American flag appliqués, now sit in the Smithsonian, a testament to a night when American figure skating reached its zenith.

However, his legacy was only just getting started.

If his skating career was defined by precision, his second act was defined by a sense of humor.

In 1999, the South Park movie, Bigger, Longer & Uncut, released the song “What Would Brian Boitano Do?” The track reimagined the Olympian as a mythical savior who built the pyramids and traveled to the year 3010 to fight an evil robot king.

For many athletes, being the butt of a joke in a crude animated film might be cause for a lawsuit. Boitano did the opposite. He leaned in.

He began selling T-shirts with the slogan to raise money for charity and even titled his Food Network cooking show What Would Brian Boitano Make?

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“Kids who don’t know what I did at the Olympics meet me and think I’m cool because I’m in South Park,” Boitano once remarked.

It’s a rare feat in sports: to be respected by the purists for your “triple-triple” combinations while being celebrated by teenagers for your “magical fire breath.”

Boitano’s influence extends far beyond the 1980s.

He was instrumental in changing the rules that allowed professional skaters to return to the Olympics in 1994, and he has spent decades running “Youth Skate,” a non-profit introducing inner-city children to the ice.

Today, Boitano remains a fixture of the skating world, appearing as a commentator and mentor.

Whether he is restoring a 19th-century family home in Italy or judging a cooking competition, he approaches every project with the same “plan and follow through” mentioned in his fictional theme song.

Brian Boitano may not actually fight grizzly bears, but in the world of figure skating, he remains the hero we needed—and the one we’re still asking questions about today.