Thomas Tuchel and two England players get brutal 1/10 ratings as ‘desperate’ Three Lions slammed

England’s World Cup preparations hit a new low with a dismal 1-0 win to Japan as Thomas Tuchel’s fringe stars failed to impress.

Kaoru Mitoma’s first-half goal ensured the Three Lions ended the March break without a win from their Wembley double-header.

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The Brighton star clinically slotted beyond Jordan Pickford from a fast Japan counter after Cole Palmer was caught in possession.

It was the first time England’s No.1 had conceded in 923 international minutes, but that proved to be just one of Tuchel’s many issues.

England booed off against Japan

The home side unsuccessfully deployed Phil Foden as a false nine over a recognised striker, with the decision taken to rest Harry Kane.

However, what followed was an England side that failed to record a first-half shot on target since November 2024.

Yet there was nothing reminiscent here of the five goals scored after the break that day, which put the Republic of Ireland to the sword.

Instead, it took until the 78th minute and four substitutions for England to test Japan’s Zion Suzuki.

A mini late flurry of chances followed as Harry Maguire had a header cleared off the line, but the visitors were full value for their victory.

Loud boos at full time from the remaining England fans inside Wembley followed as Japan beat England for the first time ever.

“England have got some serious work to do,” Adrian Durham said post-match. “Thomas Tuchel has shown us nothing in terms of international credentials in these March friendlies!”

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Fee-Fi-Fo-done

Foden failed to bounce back from his underwhelming showing against Uruguay after injury forced a premature exit on 56 minutes.

The Manchester City attacker was handed a second successive start by Tuchel, but did next to nothing to turn his fortunes around.

“He played at false nine and gave everyone false hope,” says Durham.

“Pretty much useless and was subbed off before the hour. Lucky to last that long.”

England legend Stuart Pearce added: “There’s been talk of Phil Foden as a deep-lying No. 9. I’ve never been in favour of it, which I’ve expressed to you from the outset when it was first mooted, and I’ve seen nothing with my eyes to suggest that it worked tonight.”

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“There was question marks coming into these two games. I don’t think I’ve seen a great deal in the two games to suggest he’s definitely booked a place on an aeroplane,” Pearce continued.

“I think the sad thing for Phil Foden is he’s not playing regularly for his club, which counts against him at this moment in time.”

Durham replied: “His career at the moment seems to be passing him by. And listen, he’s not the only one. I’m not picking on Phil Foden. He didn’t play well at all.

“He was in a false position, if you like, at that false nine. And maybe that’s hard for him to represent what he can do. But he’s not been great in an England shirt, generally. That’s 49 caps, four goals.”

“I’m pretty certain he’s NOT going to be on the plane,” Durham said.

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Face Palm

The only other England player given a 1/10 was Foden’s former Man City teammate and rival for the Three Lions’ No.10 role.

Palmer ‘gave the ball away for the opening goal and didn’t bother sprinting back, subbed after less than an hour having created nothing’ was the assessment from talkSPORT’s Durham.

Despite having the most touches of any England attacker in the first half, the Chelsea talisman’s dribble success rate was zero per cent.

Palmer failed in both of his two dribble attempts and was unceremoniously hauled off by Tuchel alongside Foden.

“I’m looking at other players who are supposed to be creative. Cole Palmer wasn’t creative tonight. Morgan Rogers, I was so frustrated by him tonight. So Phil Foden’s not the only one.

“It’s a friendly, and maybe they will do it on the big stage, who knows?

“They might grow when they get to the big stage of the World Cup. But they’ve not given us anything to be optimistic about tonight.”

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Yer a wizard, Harry

Harry Kane was left out of the squad, but it was Harry Maguire who was given the title of ‘captain fantastic’.

Maguire played the entirety of their 1-1 draw with Uruguay, but his World Cup place was called into question by Tuchel post-match.

The German suggested that the 33-year-old ranks fifth in his centre-back pecking order and named him on the bench against Japan.

But Tuchel was forced into turning to Maguire after his centre-back partnership of Marc Guehi and Ezri Konsa failed to perform.

The Manchester United defender was the only player to earn a 7 or above for his performance and came closest to scoring late on.

As for England’s World Cup chances, Durham concluded: “England won’t be anyone’s favourites to win the World Cup. In the end England became Set Piece FC, desperate stuff.”