To cap a week in which the NFL went overboard with fines, Texas defensive end Colin Simmons did something that possibly would have gotten him banned for life by 345 Park Avenue.
After one of his Longhorn record-tying five sacks against Tennessee, Simmons celebrated by pretending to urinate on the field.
He seemed surprised when the officials penalized the move, with the eventual explanation being that Simmons was “simulating using the restroom.”
Coach Steve Sarkisian addressed the situation following the 20-17 win.
“We took him out,” Sarkisian said, via Tyler Lauletta of Awful Announcing, regarding the fact that Simmons, well, took it out. “We addressed it, and put him back in. I’m not gonna give the guy the death penalty over an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty. We’ve got to fix it though. That can’t continue as we move forward.”
That part is reasonable and appropriate. Then, things got a little screwy from Sarkisian.
“Unfortunately, in our society right now, we live in the ‘look at me’ society,” Sarkisian said. “All of you guys have your Twitter accounts, and as fast as you can type something because you want everyone to look at your account, and you get clicks. Well, that’s the world that we live in. So we’ve got to get to —it’s about the team and focus on the team, and not so much ‘look at me.’ So we’ll try to improve upon that, but five sacks was pretty cool today too.”
Steve, don’t simulate using the restroom on our leg and tell us it’s raining. Society didn’t lead Simmons to do something we’ve never seen a player do, because 99.999999 percent of all players know not to do it.
Still, we’d love to hear how Sarkisian would explain a similarly perverse celebration that was not penalized. Almost as much as we’d love to hear the explanation of the foul.